Over the past year, we've had some big changes. I started Fresh GraNOLA, we faced an unexpected pregnancy, our kids started school, we welcomed our third and final child into our family, Luis graduated college, and I was awarded a fantastic promotion at my job. My life is extremely busy these days. I started to feel stressed and anxious about things, and it was likely because I was taking on too much. I realized that something had to give. Since giving up my children or my full time job are not options, I had to let go of Fresh GraNOLA. I had my shop on vacation for a little over a month due to some home re-vamping (moving our office and giving Kadence a big girl room), and when I opened it back up I realized it was too much for me. I immediately received orders, which I was incredibly thankful for, but it also left me frustrated, scrambling to find time to fill them, wondering if I had enough supplies- its just too much for me right now.
I'm so sad over this decision. I loved creating a product that other people enjoyed. I thrived on the connections I've made through selling this laundry powder. I'm proud of myself for taking on a small business endeavor and it being successful enough to last over a year. I want to continue with it, but I can't- not unless someone out there wants to volunteer their time to order supplies and fill orders for me. :) In case anyone is interested, I will still be blogging about my family and our journey to hippietown. I can do this. I have to do this. I need something for myself. Plus, I can do this on my lunch break!
To my customers, a huge THANK YOU for all your support. I hope to one day open my shop again, but for now, I have to close the doors to Fresh GraNOLA.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
A letter to my son on his birthday
Dear Gavin,
I can't believe you are TWO today. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. You bring so much to our family. You are the life of the party...a leader in your own right. You look up to your sister so much, but you don't let her run you (try as she may). You get excited over the smallest things, and just make "normal" days so much more fun. Your teachers love having you in their class. They always tell me how good you are and how excited you get when you learn something new. One teacher, Ms. Tammy (Mammy) said when she was teaching you guys your shapes, you wave your hands in the air and scream CIRCLE!!!!!, which got your whole class doing it. You are so much fun to be around, Gavin. You are also one of the most loving kids. You hug and kiss me regularly, and tell me, "I wuv you too, Mommy".
You are so smart. You can count, recognize letters and numbers; you play pretend- you are the blue power ranger (and we are all various power rangers I'm the yellow power ranger according to you). You are so silly when you play pretend, you get all of us involved. I love the words you use that are sort of wrong, but so cute. For instance, when you get "trapped" under the laundry basket, you yell, "I'm trappin'!!", and when you want to say, "It's dark in here", you say, "It's darken". You pick up things so fast. In fact, you potty trained yourself over the last few weeks...you showed interest, so we took your diaper off, and that was that. No more diapers. Wow.
You are also AMAZING with technology and "working". You can complete puzzles and memory games on our phones in seconds. It freaks me out. You also get anything that resembles a tool and you say "I workin'". One day recently, you were "workin" on the fireplace, and you actually got a screw out! You're amazing, little man.
And the cute! I can't get over how gorgeous you are. Your big blue eyes and long eyelashes, your sweet smile and dark skin! You are one of the cutest little boys I've ever seen, and that's not just because I love you!
Gavin, you bring so much joy and love to our family. We are so glad you are a part of it. I can't wait to celebrate your birthday at your Star Wars party. You are my favorite middle child!!
Love Always,
Mom
I can't believe you are TWO today. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. You bring so much to our family. You are the life of the party...a leader in your own right. You look up to your sister so much, but you don't let her run you (try as she may). You get excited over the smallest things, and just make "normal" days so much more fun. Your teachers love having you in their class. They always tell me how good you are and how excited you get when you learn something new. One teacher, Ms. Tammy (Mammy) said when she was teaching you guys your shapes, you wave your hands in the air and scream CIRCLE!!!!!, which got your whole class doing it. You are so much fun to be around, Gavin. You are also one of the most loving kids. You hug and kiss me regularly, and tell me, "I wuv you too, Mommy".
You are so smart. You can count, recognize letters and numbers; you play pretend- you are the blue power ranger (and we are all various power rangers I'm the yellow power ranger according to you). You are so silly when you play pretend, you get all of us involved. I love the words you use that are sort of wrong, but so cute. For instance, when you get "trapped" under the laundry basket, you yell, "I'm trappin'!!", and when you want to say, "It's dark in here", you say, "It's darken". You pick up things so fast. In fact, you potty trained yourself over the last few weeks...you showed interest, so we took your diaper off, and that was that. No more diapers. Wow.
You are also AMAZING with technology and "working". You can complete puzzles and memory games on our phones in seconds. It freaks me out. You also get anything that resembles a tool and you say "I workin'". One day recently, you were "workin" on the fireplace, and you actually got a screw out! You're amazing, little man.
And the cute! I can't get over how gorgeous you are. Your big blue eyes and long eyelashes, your sweet smile and dark skin! You are one of the cutest little boys I've ever seen, and that's not just because I love you!
Gavin, you bring so much joy and love to our family. We are so glad you are a part of it. I can't wait to celebrate your birthday at your Star Wars party. You are my favorite middle child!!
Love Always,
Mom
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Guest Posting!
I feel like a huge dork because I'm ridiculously excited to be guest posting on another blog. Go check out my post on little girl's self image over at House of Burks, an awesome blog about my e-friend's life with her family of boys! :)
Beautiful, inside and out
Beautiful, inside and out
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Go The F to Sleep
I got this topic idea from Melissa over at Growing Up Geeky, for Toddle Along Tuesday. Should be fun to look back on one day.
Ah, bedtime. I remember when we only had Kadence, Luis and I would practically argue over who would get to rock her to sleep. She slept most, if not all night from an early age. It was glorious. These days, with 3 of them, bedtime looks something like this:
This begins about 8:30, and ends about 10:00pm.
After about 30 minutes of rocking, Dylan is out...I put him down...shit, did Gavin just wake him up? No, he's good. We start to wrangle the toddlers, and get them settled down.
"Kadence, put on your nightgown."
"But I don't WANT that one!"
"Fine, just pick one."
"Do you have to peepee?"
"No."
The kids settle down into K's bed to watch TV. "STOP FIGHTING!"
"We're just PLAYING!" (famous last words)
::cries::
"What happened?"
One toddler hurt the other toddler.
"I told you to stop fighting!!"
Kadence: "I have to PEE PEE!!"
"Luis, can you get their tooth brushes please?"
Epic battle to get Gavin's teeth brushed. Kadence complies, but wants to do it all by herself. Not yet, kid. Not yet.
"What do you want to watch?"
"Diego, Dragon Tales, Dora, no.... not that, Busytown, no not Phineas and Ferb.... Power Rangers!"
"Phineas and Ferb it is."
Gavin and Luis then lay in his "Star Wars" bed and play iphone games until the battery dies (or at least until Luis shuts it off and tells Gavin the battery is dead). It's quiet in there- did Luis fall asleep too? Yes.
Kadence has me tell her stories, usually her birth story. Then she tosses and turns and eventually passes out. Most often, I pass out too.
::hysterical crying::
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. The baby's up.
That about sums it up.
Ah, bedtime. I remember when we only had Kadence, Luis and I would practically argue over who would get to rock her to sleep. She slept most, if not all night from an early age. It was glorious. These days, with 3 of them, bedtime looks something like this:
This begins about 8:30, and ends about 10:00pm.
After about 30 minutes of rocking, Dylan is out...I put him down...shit, did Gavin just wake him up? No, he's good. We start to wrangle the toddlers, and get them settled down.
"Kadence, put on your nightgown."
"But I don't WANT that one!"
"Fine, just pick one."
"Do you have to peepee?"
"No."
The kids settle down into K's bed to watch TV. "STOP FIGHTING!"
"We're just PLAYING!" (famous last words)
::cries::
"What happened?"
One toddler hurt the other toddler.
"I told you to stop fighting!!"
Kadence: "I have to PEE PEE!!"
"Luis, can you get their tooth brushes please?"
Epic battle to get Gavin's teeth brushed. Kadence complies, but wants to do it all by herself. Not yet, kid. Not yet.
"What do you want to watch?"
"Diego, Dragon Tales, Dora, no.... not that, Busytown, no not Phineas and Ferb.... Power Rangers!"
"Phineas and Ferb it is."
Gavin and Luis then lay in his "Star Wars" bed and play iphone games until the battery dies (or at least until Luis shuts it off and tells Gavin the battery is dead). It's quiet in there- did Luis fall asleep too? Yes.
Kadence has me tell her stories, usually her birth story. Then she tosses and turns and eventually passes out. Most often, I pass out too.
::hysterical crying::
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. The baby's up.
That about sums it up.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
I almost let dieting ruin breastfeeding
Weight Watchers has a special program geared toward breastfeeding mothers. It works for many people. It did not work for me. After a couple weeks on the program, I started noticing a dip in my supply, but I figured things were simply regulating. My son was getting enough to eat, I was losing weight, and I could occasionally pump a bottle for my freezer stash. All was well, until I went back to work. Almost immedieatly, I noticed a difference in supply. I was only pumping about 4oz total per session, and bringing home at most 8oz a day. Dylan eats more than that, so my freezer stash began to dwindle. Over the next few weeks, I denied it. I just figured I don't make that much milk this time, and soon we would supplement with formula. Then the problem started getting worse. Dylan would eat off both sides and still not seem full. He wasn't fussing for more, but he was no longer falling into those "milk comas" like he had before. Even with that, I still wanted to diet. I wanted to lose weight. I thought maybe if I could take a day off the program here and there, or drink Mother's Milk Tea, my supply would pick up. It didn't.
About a week ago, after I had lost another pound and a half, I decided to give up Weight Watchers for now. I have mixed emotions about this. I felt really motivated to lose weight, and though I was doing it slowly, I was losing. However, feeding my son is more important. I know I could just supplement with formula if I can't keep up with his needs, and I may have to do that eventually anyway (both my other kids had formula at some point or another). I feel though since I have to pump regardless, I want to make enough for him to eat. And it's working. My milk supply has increased this last week by 4oz per day.
The bad news: I can't do any sort of diet, and I'm no good at "watching what I eat". That's why WW works so well for me: it allows me to eat pretty much whatever, just not as much. I have trouble doing that without the accountability of the plan. But I will try.
The good news: I should be able to provide enough milk for Dylan where we won't have to buy any formula. Also, I think I will burn more calories since I'm producing more milk, so I could still lose weight.
I also had to do some real reflecting. I have NEVER cared this much how I look. Why do I now? Is it because my size 4 sister in law thinks she's fat- what does she think of me then? Is it because my cousin, who at 9 months pregnant weighs less than I do now? No. I think it's because I know for sure I'm done having kids, and I'm just ready to have my body back. I'm ready to be happy with the way I look. I'm ready to not feel so big, so flabby. And I have no patience, so in the words of Veruca Salt, I want it NOW. I think that's why I let it get so far before admitting to myself I had to change or risk my milk drying up entirely. For the other kids, the weight all came off by the time they were 9 months old, so I'm hopeful I'll at least lose 15 more pounds in the next 6 months. We'll see. Either way, I'm okay. I have to be. :)
About a week ago, after I had lost another pound and a half, I decided to give up Weight Watchers for now. I have mixed emotions about this. I felt really motivated to lose weight, and though I was doing it slowly, I was losing. However, feeding my son is more important. I know I could just supplement with formula if I can't keep up with his needs, and I may have to do that eventually anyway (both my other kids had formula at some point or another). I feel though since I have to pump regardless, I want to make enough for him to eat. And it's working. My milk supply has increased this last week by 4oz per day.
The bad news: I can't do any sort of diet, and I'm no good at "watching what I eat". That's why WW works so well for me: it allows me to eat pretty much whatever, just not as much. I have trouble doing that without the accountability of the plan. But I will try.
The good news: I should be able to provide enough milk for Dylan where we won't have to buy any formula. Also, I think I will burn more calories since I'm producing more milk, so I could still lose weight.
I also had to do some real reflecting. I have NEVER cared this much how I look. Why do I now? Is it because my size 4 sister in law thinks she's fat- what does she think of me then? Is it because my cousin, who at 9 months pregnant weighs less than I do now? No. I think it's because I know for sure I'm done having kids, and I'm just ready to have my body back. I'm ready to be happy with the way I look. I'm ready to not feel so big, so flabby. And I have no patience, so in the words of Veruca Salt, I want it NOW. I think that's why I let it get so far before admitting to myself I had to change or risk my milk drying up entirely. For the other kids, the weight all came off by the time they were 9 months old, so I'm hopeful I'll at least lose 15 more pounds in the next 6 months. We'll see. Either way, I'm okay. I have to be. :)
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Diva Cup: My first impression
I've read so many helpful blog reviews, I figured why not write down my experiences with a new (to me) product. I would first like to say I was not compensated for this post by the creators of Diva Cup. They did not give me a free product either, probably because they don't know who the heck I am.
When I first heard of the Diva Cup, I was kind of grossed out. It's a silicone cup that looks somewhat like a condom and goes inside you and catches your blood. I'm not terribly squeamish about my own body stuff, but something about this was just too much for me. After learning more about it, I was intrigued, but still somewhat hesitant to shell out 40 bucks for something I may not know how nor want to use. I would read on mommy message boards that it was "so easy to use" and think, "Yea, but they also said the Moby wrap was easy and I still don't get it." When I saw it on Baby Steals for half price, I decided to buy one. Recently, I tested it out. Honestly, the only reason I was brave enough to try it was because the only feminine care products I had were the boat size pads they give you at the hospital after delivery.
Let me just say I LOVE THIS THING! It was incredibly easy to use. There was no "learning curve" as far as insertion. The directions make it simple. Trust me, if I can do this, anyone can. It didn't hurt; it wasn't difficult, and once it was in I couldn't feel a thing. And to thoroughly test it out, I headed straight to the gym. After about 2 hours, I could start to feel the stem. I don't know why. When I was reading reviews, everyone said to cut off the stem. The "stem" is what you use to pull it out. No way was I going to cut that off before I was familiar with this contraption! I now see what they mean. The stem can be irritating. I'm still not ready to cut it off, but I did read that some people turn it inside out, so I took that route. It helps tremendously, and isn't harder to remove. I've used it for two days now, and I'm pretty sure I'm never going back. Aside from having to wash your hands reeealy good after inserting it and removing it, I have no complaints. At least not yet. I will say that for whatever reason, I'm not quite ready to wear it overnight. One word of caution- when you rinse it, do not turn the water on full force. Your sink and bathroom mirror will look like a crime scene. Ask me how I know. Below is my obligatory list of pros and cons. I hope this is helpful for someone.
Pros:
When I first heard of the Diva Cup, I was kind of grossed out. It's a silicone cup that looks somewhat like a condom and goes inside you and catches your blood. I'm not terribly squeamish about my own body stuff, but something about this was just too much for me. After learning more about it, I was intrigued, but still somewhat hesitant to shell out 40 bucks for something I may not know how nor want to use. I would read on mommy message boards that it was "so easy to use" and think, "Yea, but they also said the Moby wrap was easy and I still don't get it." When I saw it on Baby Steals for half price, I decided to buy one. Recently, I tested it out. Honestly, the only reason I was brave enough to try it was because the only feminine care products I had were the boat size pads they give you at the hospital after delivery.
Let me just say I LOVE THIS THING! It was incredibly easy to use. There was no "learning curve" as far as insertion. The directions make it simple. Trust me, if I can do this, anyone can. It didn't hurt; it wasn't difficult, and once it was in I couldn't feel a thing. And to thoroughly test it out, I headed straight to the gym. After about 2 hours, I could start to feel the stem. I don't know why. When I was reading reviews, everyone said to cut off the stem. The "stem" is what you use to pull it out. No way was I going to cut that off before I was familiar with this contraption! I now see what they mean. The stem can be irritating. I'm still not ready to cut it off, but I did read that some people turn it inside out, so I took that route. It helps tremendously, and isn't harder to remove. I've used it for two days now, and I'm pretty sure I'm never going back. Aside from having to wash your hands reeealy good after inserting it and removing it, I have no complaints. At least not yet. I will say that for whatever reason, I'm not quite ready to wear it overnight. One word of caution- when you rinse it, do not turn the water on full force. Your sink and bathroom mirror will look like a crime scene. Ask me how I know. Below is my obligatory list of pros and cons. I hope this is helpful for someone.
Pros:
- cheaper- eventually it will be much cheaper than pads/tampons
- better for the environment
- healthier; I haven't researched because I prefer to remain blissfully ignorant, but I know tampons can't be good for you
- longer lasting; the website states in can last up to 12 hours
- a little messier
- more expensive initially
- you can't just flush or toss it, so if you're out and it has to come out for whatever reason, you have to put it in your purse
- awkward to talk about with other women, or you know blog about for
all the worldone or two people to see, but you feel like you HAVE to tell everyone because it's so freaking awesome
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
This is how I do it
Since I returned to work, I have on more than one occasion, been met with the question, "How do you DO it?" I never know quite what to say, so I flash a coy smile and sheepishly say, "I don't know." Some people seem rather shocked that I can care for three kids (three and under), work full time, and go to school without going postal. Upon seeing me back from maternity leave, my coworker, looking rather surprised, said, "You look normal and thin and sane." How horrible am I for taking "thin" as the biggest compliment in that statement?
Anyway, in an attempt to avoid getting some sort of complex or patting myself on the back thinking I somehow do it all, let me attempt to answer how I "do it". The truth is, I don't. At least...not alone. First off, my husband is in this with me one hundred percent. There is no way I could to half the things I do without him. He is the one who stays at home with the kids and does a ton of housework. He is such a hands on dad. He's also a full time student and part time photographer- I honestly don't know how HE does it. I know he hardly ever sleeps, that's one thing.
Then we have Leeny...aka a Godsend. She is my friend's mom, whom we've known since before Kadence was born. She once told us, "If you guys need help, let me know." And she meant it. She has helped us and watched the kids since Kadence was just a couple months old. She is part of our family, and the kids are soooooooo attached to her. Often times, when Luis gets home from school they tell him to leave so Leeny can stay! She babysits while Luis is in class and for the very rare date nights. I don't think Luis would be graduating this year (omg..next month!) if not for Leeny.
Beyond that, there are my grandparents. They live right next door. They are wonderful. My grandpa will come swing the older kids some late afternoons, or he will let them run around his garden. He gets quality time with them, they love being with him, and it gives me a few minutes to clean up, feed the baby, or whatever I need to do. It's a win win win! Their house is also our occasional grocery store. Sometimes, we run out of toilet paper at the most inopportune times. I've been able to run over there and grab a roll...and they don't mind one bit. Just last weekend, Luis and I went on separate grocery shopping trips. We were out of dishwasher detergent, and we both forgot to buy some. My grandparents happily gave us some of theirs. And do you know, it's Wednesday, and we STILL haven't been to the store to get some. Pathetic.
My mom and sister in law have also been known to save us on occasion. My mom brought us dinner one evening when the toddlers where whining nonstop, Luis was at school, the baby was screaming- cooking just was not an option that night. So after she ate, she picked up McDonald's and brought it over (before I look like a total brat, she lives less than 10 minutes away and I paid her back). My sister in law comes over pretty regularly to visit with us. She ends up playing with the kids and wearing them out, which gives Luis a chance to clean up or do school work, and I get a moment to feed the baby without worrying about the toddlers fighting or being all up in my grill.
On top of the great help and support we have, I still do not DO it. Our laundry is always backed up. I currently have four loads of clean clothes sitting in the laundry room. It's day three of that. Our house is usually a mess, and never truly clean. Our kids watch more TV than they ever did before, but at least it's educational....Gavin knows Spanish. If you ask him how to say blue in Spanish, he replies "cinco". See, educational! I'm also a few minutes late to work almost every day. I forgot the kids' school lunch at home yesterday. They don't get baths every night...and neither do I, for that matter. While I may appear sane and normal..and THIN, I don't have it altogether. And I would surely be a basket case if I didn't have my family and friends.
Anyway, in an attempt to avoid getting some sort of complex or patting myself on the back thinking I somehow do it all, let me attempt to answer how I "do it". The truth is, I don't. At least...not alone. First off, my husband is in this with me one hundred percent. There is no way I could to half the things I do without him. He is the one who stays at home with the kids and does a ton of housework. He is such a hands on dad. He's also a full time student and part time photographer- I honestly don't know how HE does it. I know he hardly ever sleeps, that's one thing.
Then we have Leeny...aka a Godsend. She is my friend's mom, whom we've known since before Kadence was born. She once told us, "If you guys need help, let me know." And she meant it. She has helped us and watched the kids since Kadence was just a couple months old. She is part of our family, and the kids are soooooooo attached to her. Often times, when Luis gets home from school they tell him to leave so Leeny can stay! She babysits while Luis is in class and for the very rare date nights. I don't think Luis would be graduating this year (omg..next month!) if not for Leeny.
Beyond that, there are my grandparents. They live right next door. They are wonderful. My grandpa will come swing the older kids some late afternoons, or he will let them run around his garden. He gets quality time with them, they love being with him, and it gives me a few minutes to clean up, feed the baby, or whatever I need to do. It's a win win win! Their house is also our occasional grocery store. Sometimes, we run out of toilet paper at the most inopportune times. I've been able to run over there and grab a roll...and they don't mind one bit. Just last weekend, Luis and I went on separate grocery shopping trips. We were out of dishwasher detergent, and we both forgot to buy some. My grandparents happily gave us some of theirs. And do you know, it's Wednesday, and we STILL haven't been to the store to get some. Pathetic.
My mom and sister in law have also been known to save us on occasion. My mom brought us dinner one evening when the toddlers where whining nonstop, Luis was at school, the baby was screaming- cooking just was not an option that night. So after she ate, she picked up McDonald's and brought it over (before I look like a total brat, she lives less than 10 minutes away and I paid her back). My sister in law comes over pretty regularly to visit with us. She ends up playing with the kids and wearing them out, which gives Luis a chance to clean up or do school work, and I get a moment to feed the baby without worrying about the toddlers fighting or being all up in my grill.
On top of the great help and support we have, I still do not DO it. Our laundry is always backed up. I currently have four loads of clean clothes sitting in the laundry room. It's day three of that. Our house is usually a mess, and never truly clean. Our kids watch more TV than they ever did before, but at least it's educational....Gavin knows Spanish. If you ask him how to say blue in Spanish, he replies "cinco". See, educational! I'm also a few minutes late to work almost every day. I forgot the kids' school lunch at home yesterday. They don't get baths every night...and neither do I, for that matter. While I may appear sane and normal..and THIN, I don't have it altogether. And I would surely be a basket case if I didn't have my family and friends.
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